Jay, Wow, earlier today I finished writing my upcoming post for this week and it focuses on the very same stress responses you discuss here, though approached differently. It's a bit uncanny. Apparently, we're tapping into the zeitgeist. Thanks for sharing your powerful insights.
Wendy, that timing is something. It’s always fascinating when different perspectives converge on the same theme. I’m looking forward to reading your take on it—these conversations only get richer when explored from multiple angles.
I wish I had read words like these a year ago before I burned out! I'm saving this post for the next tough moment. Take care of our nervous system—it’s our most important ally!
Emanuela, Burnout changes everything. Seeing it in hindsight is one thing, but having tools before reaching that edge makes all the difference. I’m glad this post gives you something to hold onto for the next tough moment. Your nervous system isn’t just an ally—it’s the foundation. Keep listening to it. Keep honoring what it needs.xo Jay
Jay, what an affirmation. I have to say, it seems that each of us weaves our threads into this collective tapestry, and together, it's a work of art.
I am in awe of the Renaissance I see blooming around me, among the creative voices who are pushing against the existing narrative - a gentle resistance.
And your voice, Jay, provides so much texture and color to this tapestry. Your are gifted. There is a sacred quality to your gifts age the way you share them. ❤️
That image of a collective tapestry feels exactly right. Not a single thread doing the work alone, and each of us bringing what we carry—sometimes raw, sometimes refined—into something that holds shape and meaning together.
A gentle resistance speaks to me deeply.
It’s not the absence of strength, it is the presence of intention. The choice to create rather than collapse. To imagine beyond what is offered.
That’s the kind of Renaissance I believe in.
Thank you for naming what you see in my voice. I don’t take those words lightly. To be received like this, with care and precision, is a gift in itself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words are truly generous.
You expand my heart, Jay. What can I say? I feel everything from the thousands of miles and oceans between us. "Raw and refined" is more poetry. Such gorgeous words! You are a gift. Thank you for being you.
I think this is quite possibly the best piece I have read on trauma in the Substack realm. You offer practical points to real-life problems, and I felt the agency underpinning everything you wrote. There is something empowering about naming what we can't control while also naming what we can. And you offered that to your readers here.
This especially struck me: "It does not ask, What is the whole picture? It asks, Where is the danger?"
I think that summarizes the subconscious reactions so many of us worldwide are having on a daily basis. Our bodies are living in a state of perpetual fight/flight/freeze/fawn.
Thank you for this sensitive take on such an important topic.
thank you for reading this piece so fully. Your reflection tells me you didn’t just understand the words—you felt them. That line you pulled out—“It does not ask, What is the whole picture? It asks, Where is the danger?”—was one of the clearest things I’ve ever written about trauma. It’s not metaphor. It’s function. The body adapts to sustained threat by narrowing everything to survival.
You named something essential here: the power of distinguishing what we can’t control from what we can. That clarity is what creates agency. And agency isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about knowing where we still have movement, even if the space is small.
I’m deeply grateful your voice is part of this conversation. You’re not just echoing it back—you’re advancing it.
Right, oppression works through the careful construction of control. This is where anxiety comes in. It's so easy to put the masses in anxiety mode. And then people are like cats who are constantly scared - they don't eat, and they don't play.
It makes sense to assess your actual reality. As Marcus Aurelius said, "ask yourself, is this what you're afraid of? You will be embarrassed". Anxiety wants us to believe in something that hasn't happened and may never happen. That's not fear.
Andrew, Yes—control thrives on keeping people in a heightened state of anxiety, making it harder to see what’s real. And yet, stepping out of survival mode means reclaiming that clarity, assessing what’s actually in front of us rather than what we’ve been conditioned to fear. Appreciate your thoughts and the Marcus Aurelius quote. Glad this resonated.
I am over here being hyper vigilant and on edge because of work and sure enough this dropped in front of me at the right moment so thank you for posting it and sharing it and really holding the fabric of your human experience so close 😭 today has been tough!
Bernard, I hear you. Hypervigilance is its own kind of exhaustion, keeping everything wound tight with no space to breathe. I know that state well. Whatever weight today is putting on you, I hope there’s even a small pocket of ease somewhere in it.
Something that has helped me is shifting my focus away from the usual deep breathing and instead breathing into the small of my back.
Hypervigilance, in my case, was often tied to bracing against something—tightness in the chest, a constant readiness for impact.
By concentrating on the space behind me, on the literal and perceived expanse that exists there, I’ve found I can open up breathing in a different way.
Deepening breath into the small of the back can create a sense of vastness, a reminder that there is space, and that we have our own back. Maybe it’s worth trying, even just for a moment.
I think we're all a bit in heightened survival mode at the moment, even if not living in the US. It's all a bit scary and I've definitely noticed a much bigger need to calm my nervous system. You give some good tips here thank you!
Sophie, I hear you. The collective tension is undeniable, no matter where we are. That heightened survival mode seeps into everything, making it even more important to find ways to ground ourselves. I’m glad the piece offered something helpful. Wishing you steadiness in the midst of it all. 💛
L, this brings a lot to consider. Some parts line up with what I’ve explored—like making space to pause, working with overwhelm, and focusing on what’s within reach. Some of it moves in a direction I don’t follow, and some of it reads more as assertion than exploration. I see why it caught your attention, and I appreciate you sharing it. There's always something to take in, even if not everything fits.
These are excellent questions and potential directions, thank you. They have given me a much needed pause.
I am responsible for a friend with dementia and I’ve been feeling a mild panic that not knowing what is going to happen is leaving me terribly uncertain on how to move forward to protect her and the financial assets she needs for long term care. I’ve felt pulled in multiple directions and I’ll admit, most of them reactive. I do need to make some difficult choices but I need to make them with a clear head not a reactive frightened one.
I know I’m not alone in these concerns as many more vulnerable than she and I are, are without the means to change their circumstances. I sense a lot of pain and suffering are to come and no doubt I can’t anticipate all the ways in which that is possible but no matter the consequences I still need a clear head and steady heart from which to proceed. I will refer back to these questions numerous times in the next few days as I contemplate what moves to make next. Thank you, for sharing this guidance.
Collectively we have more than what we hold alone…
L, this sounds overwhelming, and I hear how much you care. Thank you for taking the time to reflect your thoughts back to me. Holding responsibility like this, especially without a clear path forward, can feel like standing in thick fog, trying to map the road as you walk it. You already know that fear-driven choices won’t serve you or your friend in the long run, and you're catching yourself before reacting. That matters. You don’t have to know every answer right now. Taking one step with clarity is worth more than running in ten directions at once. Keep coming back to what is within your control, and let the rest unfold as you go. You’re not carrying this alone. Jay
Megan, I appreciate you taking this in. That long exhale matters—sometimes it’s the first step toward shifting what feels unmovable. Glad these words met you where they did.
Thank you for this important piece that moves beyond outlining “the problem” to what we as individuals within community can do about it.
I would not have fully understood this: “Somatic regulation is not a substitute for action. It is what makes strategic action possible” until after somatic therapy. I went 50 years without a full awareness of my own feelings, living within a highly anxious body as my norm. Trauma-based somatic therapy helped me make the connection between my emotions and what I feel in my body. So I just want to say that grounding and somatic regulation does not always come easy, and that therapy (if accessible) may be helpful to get there, especially for those who struggle with a constant state of anxiety. 😌
Tracey, I appreciate you sharing this. Somatic regulation isn’t always intuitive, especially after decades of living in a state of high alert. It takes time to reconnect with what the body is actually saying. Therapy, when accessible, can be a vital part of that process, and I’m glad you found support in it. This work isn’t just personal—it shapes how we move through the world and engage with change in a way that’s sustainable.
My own somatic practice started with neurogenic shaking, a natural mechanism for releasing stress and trauma stored in the fascia. The fascia, a connective tissue network that holds everything in place, tightens under chronic stress, reinforcing patterns of tension in the body. Neurogenic shaking helps reset the nervous system by allowing those deep-held contractions to release.
I later added Qi Gong, which, like Yoga, is an excellent way to reconnect with the body through mindful movement and breath. Eventually, I began re-learning how to hold and move my body in space through the Alexander Technique. The results were astonishing—not just in posture but in how I experience presence and ease in my body.
Of course, if available, therapy can be invaluable. There are several body-oriented therapeutic approaches, and while they might feel unfamiliar at first—especially for trauma survivors who have become disconnected from their bodies—I can confidently say that somatic practices made all the difference for me.
I am for the world you envision and describe so eloquently here, Jay. Thank you for so many insights and resources. I will save and return to this offering. It’s a manual for how to survive these difficult times.
Amy, I’m with you on that vision. It’s not just about surviving these times—it’s about holding onto what makes life worth living, even in the midst of it all. I appreciate you taking this in and making space for it.
Hi Jay, this is such an important point: “Resistance alone is not a direction. It’s stagnation. No movement was ever built on against. It was always built on toward.” I love how you emphasize broadening the question from what are you against to what are you for - and coupling that with action. This applies not only to creating change in social/ political/ economic structures but also on an individual level. Ultimately, all these levels are deeply interconnected and constantly inform one another.
Rose, exactly. We are not separate from the systems we resist or the ones we build. We are systems ourselves, shaping and being shaped in every interaction. That’s Ubuntu—I am because you are. That’s Thich Nhat Hanh’s inter-being. It’s the foundation of systemic thinking, of communication itself. No movement, no transformation happens in isolation. What we cultivate within us shifts the world around us, in levels small and large.
💯 % agreed! So often we tend to criticize in the outside world what we carry within. I guess the biggest task always remains to change/ revolutionize ourselves and with that the world automatically changes. Thanks for your work and for helping us to see that we are all 1 !
Rose, yes. The most daunting step is turning toward what hurts, what haunts, and meeting it with compassion. That’s where real transformation begins—not in pushing it away, but in facing it, holding it, understanding it. We can’t change what we refuse to see. And as we shift within, the world around us shifts too.
@Sandra Dingler thank you for sharing. I appreciate you.
Jay, Wow, earlier today I finished writing my upcoming post for this week and it focuses on the very same stress responses you discuss here, though approached differently. It's a bit uncanny. Apparently, we're tapping into the zeitgeist. Thanks for sharing your powerful insights.
Wendy, that timing is something. It’s always fascinating when different perspectives converge on the same theme. I’m looking forward to reading your take on it—these conversations only get richer when explored from multiple angles.
Agreed! I’ll tag you when it’s out. There’s a critical need for centering tools in the midst of the trauma writ large.
I wish I had read words like these a year ago before I burned out! I'm saving this post for the next tough moment. Take care of our nervous system—it’s our most important ally!
Emanuela, Burnout changes everything. Seeing it in hindsight is one thing, but having tools before reaching that edge makes all the difference. I’m glad this post gives you something to hold onto for the next tough moment. Your nervous system isn’t just an ally—it’s the foundation. Keep listening to it. Keep honoring what it needs.xo Jay
Jay, what an affirmation. I have to say, it seems that each of us weaves our threads into this collective tapestry, and together, it's a work of art.
I am in awe of the Renaissance I see blooming around me, among the creative voices who are pushing against the existing narrative - a gentle resistance.
And your voice, Jay, provides so much texture and color to this tapestry. Your are gifted. There is a sacred quality to your gifts age the way you share them. ❤️
Jeannie,
That image of a collective tapestry feels exactly right. Not a single thread doing the work alone, and each of us bringing what we carry—sometimes raw, sometimes refined—into something that holds shape and meaning together.
A gentle resistance speaks to me deeply.
It’s not the absence of strength, it is the presence of intention. The choice to create rather than collapse. To imagine beyond what is offered.
That’s the kind of Renaissance I believe in.
Thank you for naming what you see in my voice. I don’t take those words lightly. To be received like this, with care and precision, is a gift in itself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words are truly generous.
You expand my heart, Jay. What can I say? I feel everything from the thousands of miles and oceans between us. "Raw and refined" is more poetry. Such gorgeous words! You are a gift. Thank you for being you.
Jeannie, you are so kind. Thank you for your generous appreciation. I cherish you.
I truly feel the same about you, Jay. There is something deeply resonant in who you are and the way you show up. You are the gift.
Jay,
I think this is quite possibly the best piece I have read on trauma in the Substack realm. You offer practical points to real-life problems, and I felt the agency underpinning everything you wrote. There is something empowering about naming what we can't control while also naming what we can. And you offered that to your readers here.
This especially struck me: "It does not ask, What is the whole picture? It asks, Where is the danger?"
I think that summarizes the subconscious reactions so many of us worldwide are having on a daily basis. Our bodies are living in a state of perpetual fight/flight/freeze/fawn.
Thank you for this sensitive take on such an important topic.
Jeannie,
thank you for reading this piece so fully. Your reflection tells me you didn’t just understand the words—you felt them. That line you pulled out—“It does not ask, What is the whole picture? It asks, Where is the danger?”—was one of the clearest things I’ve ever written about trauma. It’s not metaphor. It’s function. The body adapts to sustained threat by narrowing everything to survival.
You named something essential here: the power of distinguishing what we can’t control from what we can. That clarity is what creates agency. And agency isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about knowing where we still have movement, even if the space is small.
I’m deeply grateful your voice is part of this conversation. You’re not just echoing it back—you’re advancing it.
Right, oppression works through the careful construction of control. This is where anxiety comes in. It's so easy to put the masses in anxiety mode. And then people are like cats who are constantly scared - they don't eat, and they don't play.
It makes sense to assess your actual reality. As Marcus Aurelius said, "ask yourself, is this what you're afraid of? You will be embarrassed". Anxiety wants us to believe in something that hasn't happened and may never happen. That's not fear.
Thank you, very helpful resource.
Andrew, Yes—control thrives on keeping people in a heightened state of anxiety, making it harder to see what’s real. And yet, stepping out of survival mode means reclaiming that clarity, assessing what’s actually in front of us rather than what we’ve been conditioned to fear. Appreciate your thoughts and the Marcus Aurelius quote. Glad this resonated.
This is so helpful Jay! Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this. ♥️
You’re so welcome, Allyson! I’m really glad it was helpful for you. I’m grateful for your kind words. ♥️
This is absolutely brilliant and absolute truth.
Bernard, I appreciate that. Truth has layers, and this is one I had to unearth the hard way. Glad it resonates.
I am over here being hyper vigilant and on edge because of work and sure enough this dropped in front of me at the right moment so thank you for posting it and sharing it and really holding the fabric of your human experience so close 😭 today has been tough!
Bernard, I hear you. Hypervigilance is its own kind of exhaustion, keeping everything wound tight with no space to breathe. I know that state well. Whatever weight today is putting on you, I hope there’s even a small pocket of ease somewhere in it.
Something that has helped me is shifting my focus away from the usual deep breathing and instead breathing into the small of my back.
Hypervigilance, in my case, was often tied to bracing against something—tightness in the chest, a constant readiness for impact.
By concentrating on the space behind me, on the literal and perceived expanse that exists there, I’ve found I can open up breathing in a different way.
Deepening breath into the small of the back can create a sense of vastness, a reminder that there is space, and that we have our own back. Maybe it’s worth trying, even just for a moment.
I think we're all a bit in heightened survival mode at the moment, even if not living in the US. It's all a bit scary and I've definitely noticed a much bigger need to calm my nervous system. You give some good tips here thank you!
Sophie, I hear you. The collective tension is undeniable, no matter where we are. That heightened survival mode seeps into everything, making it even more important to find ways to ground ourselves. I’m glad the piece offered something helpful. Wishing you steadiness in the midst of it all. 💛
For those who may appreciate a few more ideas, I thought this post also helpful: https://open.substack.com/pub/amandhavollmer/p/self-validation-and-overwhelm-management?r=2t1gn1&utm_medium=ios
L, this brings a lot to consider. Some parts line up with what I’ve explored—like making space to pause, working with overwhelm, and focusing on what’s within reach. Some of it moves in a direction I don’t follow, and some of it reads more as assertion than exploration. I see why it caught your attention, and I appreciate you sharing it. There's always something to take in, even if not everything fits.
These are excellent questions and potential directions, thank you. They have given me a much needed pause.
I am responsible for a friend with dementia and I’ve been feeling a mild panic that not knowing what is going to happen is leaving me terribly uncertain on how to move forward to protect her and the financial assets she needs for long term care. I’ve felt pulled in multiple directions and I’ll admit, most of them reactive. I do need to make some difficult choices but I need to make them with a clear head not a reactive frightened one.
I know I’m not alone in these concerns as many more vulnerable than she and I are, are without the means to change their circumstances. I sense a lot of pain and suffering are to come and no doubt I can’t anticipate all the ways in which that is possible but no matter the consequences I still need a clear head and steady heart from which to proceed. I will refer back to these questions numerous times in the next few days as I contemplate what moves to make next. Thank you, for sharing this guidance.
Collectively we have more than what we hold alone…
Thank you, Jay. All points well taken…
L, this sounds overwhelming, and I hear how much you care. Thank you for taking the time to reflect your thoughts back to me. Holding responsibility like this, especially without a clear path forward, can feel like standing in thick fog, trying to map the road as you walk it. You already know that fear-driven choices won’t serve you or your friend in the long run, and you're catching yourself before reacting. That matters. You don’t have to know every answer right now. Taking one step with clarity is worth more than running in ten directions at once. Keep coming back to what is within your control, and let the rest unfold as you go. You’re not carrying this alone. Jay
Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this piece Jay. It is so important right now and always.
Nina, glad it speaks to you.
Such a powerful, important, valuable share. I’m exhaling longer after reading this. Thank you. 💯
Megan, I appreciate you taking this in. That long exhale matters—sometimes it’s the first step toward shifting what feels unmovable. Glad these words met you where they did.
They hit me then and then they hit me again now… Longer exhales are such an important practice for me.
Thank you for this important piece that moves beyond outlining “the problem” to what we as individuals within community can do about it.
I would not have fully understood this: “Somatic regulation is not a substitute for action. It is what makes strategic action possible” until after somatic therapy. I went 50 years without a full awareness of my own feelings, living within a highly anxious body as my norm. Trauma-based somatic therapy helped me make the connection between my emotions and what I feel in my body. So I just want to say that grounding and somatic regulation does not always come easy, and that therapy (if accessible) may be helpful to get there, especially for those who struggle with a constant state of anxiety. 😌
Tracey, I appreciate you sharing this. Somatic regulation isn’t always intuitive, especially after decades of living in a state of high alert. It takes time to reconnect with what the body is actually saying. Therapy, when accessible, can be a vital part of that process, and I’m glad you found support in it. This work isn’t just personal—it shapes how we move through the world and engage with change in a way that’s sustainable.
My own somatic practice started with neurogenic shaking, a natural mechanism for releasing stress and trauma stored in the fascia. The fascia, a connective tissue network that holds everything in place, tightens under chronic stress, reinforcing patterns of tension in the body. Neurogenic shaking helps reset the nervous system by allowing those deep-held contractions to release.
I later added Qi Gong, which, like Yoga, is an excellent way to reconnect with the body through mindful movement and breath. Eventually, I began re-learning how to hold and move my body in space through the Alexander Technique. The results were astonishing—not just in posture but in how I experience presence and ease in my body.
Of course, if available, therapy can be invaluable. There are several body-oriented therapeutic approaches, and while they might feel unfamiliar at first—especially for trauma survivors who have become disconnected from their bodies—I can confidently say that somatic practices made all the difference for me.
Love all these different ways to (re)connect body and mind. I'm so glad you found release in somatic practices. I have too!
I am for the world you envision and describe so eloquently here, Jay. Thank you for so many insights and resources. I will save and return to this offering. It’s a manual for how to survive these difficult times.
Amy, I’m with you on that vision. It’s not just about surviving these times—it’s about holding onto what makes life worth living, even in the midst of it all. I appreciate you taking this in and making space for it.
Hi Jay, this is such an important point: “Resistance alone is not a direction. It’s stagnation. No movement was ever built on against. It was always built on toward.” I love how you emphasize broadening the question from what are you against to what are you for - and coupling that with action. This applies not only to creating change in social/ political/ economic structures but also on an individual level. Ultimately, all these levels are deeply interconnected and constantly inform one another.
Rose, exactly. We are not separate from the systems we resist or the ones we build. We are systems ourselves, shaping and being shaped in every interaction. That’s Ubuntu—I am because you are. That’s Thich Nhat Hanh’s inter-being. It’s the foundation of systemic thinking, of communication itself. No movement, no transformation happens in isolation. What we cultivate within us shifts the world around us, in levels small and large.
💯 % agreed! So often we tend to criticize in the outside world what we carry within. I guess the biggest task always remains to change/ revolutionize ourselves and with that the world automatically changes. Thanks for your work and for helping us to see that we are all 1 !
Rose, yes. The most daunting step is turning toward what hurts, what haunts, and meeting it with compassion. That’s where real transformation begins—not in pushing it away, but in facing it, holding it, understanding it. We can’t change what we refuse to see. And as we shift within, the world around us shifts too.
❣️❣️❣️