The word Deeper, which I found at
, feels like a fitting theme—not just for a new year but for the journey I’ve been living these past days.In the wake of devastation, when the structures of my life seemed to collapse, I found myself called to open in ways I never thought possible.
Opening creates space—space that invites courage, trust, and, ultimately, depth. This progression has been a guiding thread in my reflections:
First comes length: Standing at the edge of the sea, you open yourself to an expanse within. As your gaze stretches toward the horizon, a vast ocean emerges—not out there, but within your own heart.
Then comes width: with courage, you trust yourself to that inner ocean, letting its surface hold you as you float. Each wave carries you, and a quiet trust begins to take root—a foundation of safety that invites you to release and let go.
Finally, there is depth: surrendering fully, you slip below the surface, where the wild chaos of waves gives way to a serene stillness. Jon Kabat-Zinn captures this beautifully—just a few feet down, the turbulence softens into gentle rhythms. Deeper still, you find a profound quiet, a presence that holds you entirely.
Depth isn’t simply about going deeper.
It’s about inhabiting that stillness, expanding into a dimension of authenticity and presence. This process mirrors my journey in ways I never could have imagined when I first shared my story. Through vulnerability and trust, I found a community that held me as I sank into the stillness of my own truth.
Read the original story here: ´
The letter that follows reflects on this unfolding: the losses, the courage it took to share, and the extraordinary support I found in return. It’s a reminder of the light that exists even in life’s darkest corners—a light we often uncover when we dare to let go and trust in connection.
Letter From Love
Dear Love what would you have me know about finding an amazing community of support, kindness and compassion it the wake of a most devastating delivery to my doorstep (likely involving private bankruptcy and loss of most worthy possessions?
Hey Sweetie,
You’ve stood in the center of devastation, feeling the weight of what seemed like the entire world collapsing at once.
The losses were profound: the company tied to dreams that weren’t fully your own, the looming threat of personal bankruptcy, and the possessions that might mostly slip from your grasp like sand through your fingers.
And yet, out of this rubble, something astonishing has emerged—something no loss could ever diminish.
You’ve uncovered yourself, Jay.
For 46.4 years, your true self remained exiled, a quiet presence waiting patiently behind the noise of pleasing others, sacrificing endlessly, and living according to beliefs that were never yours to begin with.
Then, through 53 weeks of raw, unapologetic truth-telling and courageous recovery, you reclaimed what had always been yours: the whole, unabashed, irreplaceable self of Jay.
Sweetie, that is the most precious thing of all.
When the external world began to crumble, it revealed the unshakable foundation within you.
The courage it took to meet the full weight of your exile and the patience you showed yourself as you unearthed every hidden part—these are acts of love that transcend anything you may lose. Your canyon, once shrouded in shadows and mist, now shines with the clarity of who you are, a beacon that cannot be extinguished.
And yet, even in this moment of profound self-discovery, you didn’t face it alone.
When the devastation arrived, you didn’t know what to expect or where to turn. You simply knew you couldn’t keep your feelings locked inside any longer. You felt compelled to share your story, your despair, and your loneliness with another being—even a virtual presence in a shared space—because connection is a fundamental part of being human. You didn’t know if sharing would make a difference, but you followed your intuition anyway.
In that moment, you made the brave choice to create your first-ever video post on Substack.
You weren’t seeking validation or even help. You were following an inner need, a whisper that said, Just speak. Just share.
And Sweetie, when you did, something extraordinary happened.
The community you turned to—the kind, compassionate, empathic, and unwavering souls who saw you—showed up in ways you couldn’t have imagined.
Their responses weren’t born from obligation or pity but from genuine care. These weren’t just strangers offering hollow words. They gave their time, their presence, their stories, and even their resources. They held space for you, honored your vulnerability, and reminded you of the abundance that exists even in the face of loss.
Sweetie, this is what community truly means: not a group of people hurling words into the void, but a circle of humans saying, “We’re here. We see you. We care.”
What you received from them was more than kindness; it was a reflection of the light you’ve always carried within you.
You didn’t know it at the time, but by sharing your truth, you created space for this love to enter. They didn’t see you as broken or burdened—they saw you as worthy of care, respect, and belonging.
This is why you turned to them in the first place, isn’t it?
Not with expectations but with hope, however faint, that something might shift. And it did.
In this moment of uncertainty, when the losses feel staggering, know that this community has given you something far greater than anything you could lose: a sense of belonging, a reminder of your worth, and a living testament to the power of connection.
Jay, you are not just a recipient of their care—you are a vital part of this circle.
Your courage to share, to show up authentically, and to trust others with your truth has created ripples that inspire and uplift.
Let their love remind you of your own.
Let their support reaffirm the abundance within you.
And let this community be a testament to what is possible when you take a step into the unknown, not knowing what will happen but trusting that speaking your truth matters.
You are part of something extraordinary, Sweetie.
Never doubt that.
Let this letter serve as a reminder of all you’ve uncovered: the fullness of your 100% self, the extraordinary community that now surrounds you, and the courage it took to get here.
You are not someone. You are Jay.
And you are loved—not for what you’ve lost or what you’ve gained, but simply because you exist.
With all the love and awe your journey inspires,
Yours, Unconditional Love
Conclusion
This journey we are walking together is not one of perfection or having all the answers. It is about showing up as we are, with our struggles and triumphs, and holding space for each other as we navigate life’s waves. The depth we seek is not a destination—it is an invitation to inhabit the present moment fully, to bring our truest selves to the surface, and to allow what has passed to remain in the past.
In this shared space, I want to offer a practical insight that has been a lifeline for me. I call it the PAST framework. It reminds us that while the challenges we face may have roots in our history, we can respond to them with wisdom and compassion now, in this moment.
When life feels overwhelming, remember PAST:
Pause: Create space to breathe and step out of reactivity. Even a single deep breath can interrupt the cycle of overwhelm.
Acknowledge: Name what you’re feeling or experiencing without judgment. Simply recognizing, This is hard right now, can be an act of immense self-compassion.
Soften: Bring kindness to the moment. Loosen your grip on harsh self-criticism, and let your shoulders drop as you exhale.
Tend: Care for yourself with a nurturing action. Whether it’s journaling, taking a walk, or reaching out to a friend, choose one small step to support your well-being.
Through PAST, we create a pathway to transform what feels insurmountable into something we can navigate with presence and care. And by sharing this space, we remind ourselves that we are never truly alone.
Thank you for walking beside me in your own depth, your own courage, and your own unfolding. May this year bring not just new beginnings but the trust and stillness that allow us to embrace the present fully.
With gratitude and unwavering connection,
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