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Kristin van Tilburg's avatar

Such an insightful post...the whole trauma story, and the way to rewrite the story in the present moment to live an empowered life! So beautiful! Well done!

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Thank you Kristin, I am glad you have found something that resonated with you.

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Julie Neches's avatar

Love the poem and the reminder that we always have options.

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Thank you Julie. I am glad to hear, that some part of this essay resonated.

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Sophie S.'s avatar

Knowing that you have options, knowing that your body is responding to the past and not necessarily to what is happening in front of you right now, and having the ability to catch it and shift your thinking - that's massive progress 🔥

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Sophie, the past writes itself into the present in ways that aren’t always obvious. Whenever I integrated something old, I become aware of another layer hidden within my body, pointing to quite often another layer of trauma that is still at work and active. A body doesn’t ask whether its response fits the moment—it reacts from what it has known. Noticing that, catching it, and choosing differently isn’t just progress. It’s reclaiming my own narrative, one moment at a time. I am grateful, that is is possible.

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Sophie S.'s avatar

yes, reclaiming your own narrative, love it ❤️

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Christine Dietz's avatar

I find my story in your words too. "And this time, I get to write the ending." - I love that. Thank you for the encouragement to choose agency, it was a reminder I needed. Beautifully written. And maybe you are not just writing the ending, but also a new beginning.

Do you know which country you would like to move to? If you do not feel comfortable sharing, that is completely fine and understandable.

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Christine, I’m glad my words resonated with you. Choosing agency—fully, without hesitation—is something I had to learn, and I’m still living into it every day. And I concur—it’s both about writing an ending and also about stepping into something new.

As for where I want to go, I have a strong sense, but I’m keeping it close for now. Some things still need time to unfold. Thank you for asking, and for seeing me.

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Sara Redondo, MD's avatar

This is a powerful testimony to the impact of trauma and the strength of healing. The way you recognize patterns and choose to respond differently is inspiring. It’s not about erasing the past but reclaiming control and rewriting the story from choice, not fear. A profound message of resilience and transformation. Loved it.

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Thank you, Sara. It’s never been about erasing the past—only about understanding it well enough to make different choices. Recognizing the patterns was the first step, but reclaiming my own story has been the real work. I appreciate you seeing that.

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Jazz's avatar

This honestly is therapy in motion! You’ve shown exactly what most human experience is about : learning and growing from anything you learn.

Reading this as someone with my own extensive list of traumas made me feel like this piece was giving me a big hug. Saying “it’s okay, you are not any of your mistakes.” and I hope that’s what your words also mean to you. Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom. Thank you for who you are today and who you were that made you who you are today☺️

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Cherished Stardust, (I like that handle) That means so much—thank you. If my words felt like a hug, then they did exactly what I hoped they would. We are never just our mistakes, and I’m grateful this piece spoke to you in that way.

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Jazz's avatar

thank you! I love your handle as well, and yes it really did make that impact🙏🏾

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Ramona Grigg's avatar

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, Jay. I'm glad for your insight now. I'm glad you have this place where you can write about these things and know that there are friends rooting for you, cheering you on as you navigate these choppy waters. You don't have to be alone. ❤️

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Ramona, thank you. Having this space and knowing there are people who truly see and support me makes a difference I can’t put into words. I appreciate you. ❤️

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

I love this title and need to come back to take it in—fully. Thank you

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Pippa Lea Pennington's avatar

That was so powerful Jay ❤️ you’ve got this 🙌 and you continue to be an inspiration. Sending love and strength and admiration from afar 👏👌💪❤️

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Pippa, thank you. I take that in, truly. Some days, “I’ve got this” feels solid, and other days, it’s more of a whisper I remind myself to believe. But knowing there are people like you out there, sending love and strength, makes a difference. I appreciate you.

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JP4M's avatar

Jay, I hope I am responding to your most recent writing which I greatly appreciate. I can barely see this screen actually, but I did manage to finish reading it. Especially I liked reading about your examining and choosing options. It is not only that part,but much of everything you wrote, I believe will help me consider questions to ask someone else if needed.

You are the author, and as you say, you can write your future. As in all writing, sometimes we are thrilled the first time, sometimes we get to fine-tune it, sometimes we start again because we have a different idea to consider while still keeping the previous ones open, or we don’t have a different idea, but we think one will come, and either it does, or we added what we had so we can come back to it later.

In actual writing, I am having difficulty with that right now because I cannot see what I’m doing today, and I’m hoping dictating on the phone is typing it accurately. I’ll try to enlarge font and edit if the phone allows.

To summarize, thank you for your heartfelt sharing of experiences, the journey, the growth, and the hope for your future. Another song comes to mind. It is, “ You’ve Got to Have Hope”. The next line is “lots and lots and lots of hope”, and hope that hope helps. Music often does help some of us, so a song in the heart to recall at any age can be a blessing and fun! Happy writing to you!

Two more thoughts are that when we do something ourselves, it sometimes is a gift to get to do it our own way. Other times,,maybe not. “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” comes to mind.

Thank you also for sharing the photograph of the half-timbered landmark.

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Laurie Lotus's avatar

Good listening to your inner voice! I’m proud of you! One more healing!

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Thank you, Laurie! Learning to truly listen to my inner voice has been a long journey, and every step counts. I appreciate your support!

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