⚠️ WARNING: RADICAL SELF-LOVE AHEAD ⚠️

Turning compassion inward through Kind Attention and Radical Love. | Intention & Affirmation: Kind Attention & It Is Okay to Care for Myself First.

Sep 27, 2024

What if the missing piece to feeling whole isn’t about doing more, but being more—being present, compassionate, and radically accepting of yourself? In today’s reflection, we explore how Kind Attention and Radical Love create a powerful foundation for reclaiming self-care, not as an indulgence, but as an act of courage. Let’s delve into what it means to turn this gentle awareness inward and discover the impact it can have on our lives.

A close-up photo of a chamomile flower blooming beside a stone, with a small bud beside it. The contrast between the flower's delicate petals and the rough, textured surface of the stone highlights the beauty of growth in unexpected places. — Amidst the roughness of stone, a delicate chamomile blooms—a reminder of resilience and the gentle power of kind attention Photp by Jay Siegmann

Hey there, dearest Lionies,

How often do we find ourselves caught in a cycle of doing, giving, and caring for others, but neglecting the one person who needs our kindness the most: ourselves? The world tells us that self-care is a luxury, something we should fit in only if there’s time left over. But I’m inviting you to see things differently. What if turning towards ourselves with Kind Attention was an act of Radical Love? A love so profound that it asks us to embrace our entire being—strengths, vulnerabilities, and everything in between—with unwavering compassion.

This is the kind of love that Tara Brach speaks about in her teachings. She has shown me that Radical Love isn’t about romantic gestures or grand displays; it’s about seeing ourselves through a lens of acceptance and tenderness, even when the habitual voices of self-criticism grow loud. It’s an act of courage to pause and say, “I see you, and I will not abandon you,” whether we’re feeling joyful or struggling just to get through the day.

Today’s Affirmation, “It Is Okay to Care for Myself First,” pairs beautifully with the intention of Kind Attention. It’s a gentle reminder that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s the bedrock of true well-being. When we embrace the practice of caring for ourselves first, we don’t diminish our capacity to love others; instead, we expand it. Because when we are nourished and whole, the love we share becomes authentic and sustainable.

So, as you read today’s reflections, I encourage you to consider: How would your life shift if you approached yourself with Radical Love? How would your interactions change if you saw your needs as not only valid but essential to your flourishing?

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Kind Attention

Kind Attention refers to the practice of focusing one's awareness on the present moment with a gentle, non-judgmental, and compassionate attitude towards oneself and others. It combines mindfulness with loving-kindness, fostering a warm and accepting approach to experiences as they unfold.

In Buddhism, this concept aligns closely with the practice of "sati" (mindfulness) combined with "metta" (loving-kindness). The Pali Canon describes these practices as essential components of the Noble Eightfold Path, particularly in the context of Right Mindfulness and Right Intention.

Practical Inspirations

1. The STOP Technique

When you feel overwhelmed or reactive, use the STOP technique:

S: Stop what you're doing
T: Take a few deep breaths
O: Observe your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment
P: Proceed with kind awareness

This quick practice helps you reset and approach situations with renewed kindness.

2. Gratitude Journaling with a Twist

Each evening, write down three things you're grateful for, but with a focus on kindness:

One act of kindness you received
One act of kindness you gave
One opportunity for kindness you noticed but didn’t act on (without judgment)

This practice heightens your awareness of kindness in daily life and encourages a gentler perspective.

3. The 'Loving Eyes' Exercise

Choose an object in your immediate environment and practice looking at it with 'loving eyes' for 30 seconds. Imagine you’re seeing it for the first time and appreciate its qualities without criticism. Gradually extend this practice to people and situations throughout your day.

This exercise trains your attention to default to a kind, appreciative stance.

Self-Reflection Question

How might cultivating Kind Attention and Radical Love transform my relationship with myself and the challenges I face in daily life?

Hint: Consider how a kinder, more compassionate approach to your thoughts, emotions, and experiences might change your internal dialogue, your reactions to stress, and your ability to navigate difficult situations. How might it affect your self-esteem, your resilience, and your overall well-being?

Affirmation: It Is Okay to Care for Myself First

I honor the importance of my own well-being, understanding that self-care is not selfish but essential. In this present moment, I create a nurturing space within myself, allowing outdated beliefs and habits to dissolve, making room for new growth. I recognize that my worth is not measured by external standards but by how authentically I remain true to my intrinsic needs and desires.

By choosing to prioritize my own care, I am better equipped to offer genuine support and love to others. I trust in the cyclical nature of self-care, knowing that tending to my own needs allows me to flourish and renew. With each mindful breath, I affirm my commitment to my own well-being, embracing the freedom that comes from honoring myself first.

I am the universe experiencing itself through a compassionate and understanding lens, deeply grateful for the opportunity to nurture my own soul. In recognizing my true nature as boundless awareness, I embrace the interconnectedness of all life, knowing that caring for myself enriches the world around me.

Key Takeaway

Prioritizing self-care is fundamental to personal well-being and effective support of others.

Essence: Self-care is not selfish; it’s the cornerstone of authentic living and meaningful contribution.

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Radical Love asks us to challenge the belief that our worth is tied to what we do for others. Instead, it invites us to see self-care as a bold declaration of our own value. This is not about rejecting the needs of others but about balancing them with our own. The more we care for ourselves, the more authentic our support for others becomes.

Consider this: if we continually ignore our own needs, we become like a candle burning at both ends. We may shine brightly for a time, but eventually, we burn out. Radical Love and Kind Attention remind us that our flame deserves to be nurtured, too. Only when we allow ourselves to be whole can we offer light that doesn’t dim under the weight of obligation.

So, dear reader, what’s one act of Radical Love you can offer yourself today? What’s one belief about self-care that you’re ready to transform? I invite you to share your thoughts and reflections. Let’s continue this conversation together and create a ripple of kindness that starts from within and flows outwards.

With gratitude for your presence and reflection,

Jay