The Radical Act of Taking Up Space: Embracing Our Worth Beyond Apology

Unlocking Your Potential: How Entitlement Shapes Your Space Discover the surprising connections between your mindset and the environment you create for yourself.

Oct 05, 2024

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Sunset over a countryside landscape with a gravel path leading between cornfields and gently rolling hills, capturing the tranquility of the rural evening scene. Einbeck, Germany by Jay Siegmann — As the sun dips below the horizon, a quiet country path beckons, inviting you to pause and breathe in the stillness of the evening....captured in the hills above Einbeck, Germany by Jay Siegmann

Hey there, dearest Lionies,

When was the last time you moved through the world without shrinking back in anticipation of someone else’s judgment? Without tensing your shoulders or lowering your gaze, as if preparing for a blow that hadn’t yet landed? For years, I didn’t even realize how often I retreated inward—physically stepping back or bowing my head when someone spoke to me with a raised voice or narrowing eyes. It was like an automatic response, a reflex that had embedded itself into my body through years of traumatic experiences. The impact wasn’t just psychological; it had become part of how I inhabited space itself. Every contraction, every step back, mirrored a deeper narrative of unworthiness.

What Sonya Renee Taylor captures in The Body Is Not an Apology is this powerful truth: reclaiming our right to exist in all our fullness is not just a bodily act—it’s an act of defiance against internalized narratives that tell us we are too much, too loud, too demanding. These narratives are relentless, shaping not only how we see ourselves but also how we physically navigate through our environments. They whisper (or sometimes scream) that our bodies and minds must be smaller, quieter, more accommodating. But what if that’s not true? What if we could stop apologizing for simply being, and start embodying our inherent right to take up space, exactly as we are?

For me, the journey to understanding this started not in the body, but in the mind. Depression, anxiety, and the relentless feeling of drowning in my own life drove me to seek professional help. Yet, in Germany, the stigma surrounding mental health remains heavy—people rarely admit to seeing a therapist or “shrink” without a sense of shame or secrecy. So, when I finally began therapy, I was breaking a silence that had weighed on me for years. Therapy gave me words and insights, but it wasn’t until I turned to embodiment practices like Qi Gong and the Alexander Technique that I could see the full picture: I wasn’t just mentally constricted—I was physically contorted by the impact of trauma and shame. My entire body had learned to shrink, to retreat, to preemptively brace for the next blow.

Qi Gong taught me to notice how my chest tightens when I feel unseen. The Alexander Technique showed me how I habitually draw my head back, almost recoiling, when I feel judged. Each practice illuminated the subtle ways my body had been trying to protect me, and in doing so, it revealed the extent of my suffering. I had been ceding space—not just the literal room I took up, but the emotional and psychological space that was mine by birthright. The irony? I had spent years learning to embody a smaller version of myself, when what I really needed was to expand and reclaim the space that trauma tried to take away.

Today’s intention, Entitlement, and the accompanying affirmation, “I Am Deserving of the Space I Occupy,” invite us to challenge those internalized voices. This is about embracing our intrinsic right to be here, exactly as we are, without apology or the need for external validation. It’s about reclaiming the body and mind as our own, recognizing that our worth doesn’t need to be earned or proven. I hope these words serve as a gentle reminder and a call to action: You deserve to take up space, exactly as you are.

A vibrant scene shows a rainbow arching over a stylized landscape with canyon elements like buttes, rock arches, and bridges, reminiscent of Monument Valley. Lions and lionesses, some sitting and others lying relaxed, appear to enjoy the majestic setting. The rainbow transitions through colors—blue, white, light pink, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, brown, and black—creating a dynamic, colorful backdrop.

Intention: Entitlement

Definition

Entitlement here refers to the inherent, undeniable worth and dignity that each human being possesses simply by existing. It is the understanding that we are all fundamentally worthy of respect, love, and belonging, without needing to earn or prove it. This kind of entitlement is rooted in the recognition of our intrinsic beauty, kindness, and wholeness—qualities that are part of our very being. It acknowledges the right to be, the right to take up space, and the right to have our existence recognized and valued.

In Buddhist philosophy, while there may not be a direct equivalent term, the principle of 'tathāgatagarbha'—the "Buddha nature" or intrinsic potential for enlightenment in all beings—aligns closely with this concept. Tathāgatagarbha teaches that everyone has an inherent purity and value, which cannot be diminished or taken away. This perspective supports the idea that all beings are fundamentally complete and entitled to their own dignity.

Inspiration to Achieve the Intention

Recognize Your Birthright of Dignity: Make a habit of affirming your intrinsic worthiness each day. Speak to yourself with the same respect and dignity you would afford someone you love deeply. Reclaim the idea that your existence alone entitles you to respect, compassion, and space in this world.
Embrace the "Enoughness" of Others: Practice seeing others as inherently worthy, regardless of their actions or status. Extend the intention of entitlement to everyone you meet by affirming their dignity in your interactions. Whether through a smile, active listening, or words of kindness, acknowledge their intrinsic value as human beings.
Create a ‘Sacred Space’ Ritual: Set aside time each day to be in a physical or metaphorical space where you celebrate your innate worthiness. This could involve lighting a candle, meditating on your inherent completeness, or journaling about the qualities you appreciate in yourself and others. This ritual reinforces the belief that your dignity and worth are inviolable.

Journaling Prompt

Exploration of Entitlement: “Where in my life do I struggle to accept my intrinsic worthiness? What conditions have I placed on myself that obscure my sense of entitlement to dignity and belonging?”
Hint: Reflect on moments when you felt undeserving or sought validation outside of yourself. What beliefs fueled those moments? How would it feel to release these conditions and fully accept your inherent worthiness, regardless of your external achievements or perceived shortcomings?
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Affirmation: I Am Deserving of the Space I Occupy

I am deserving of the space I occupy, embracing my presence with gratitude and respect. With each mindful breath, I cultivate an inner landscape where my unique qualities can flourish, allowing outdated beliefs to transform into nourishment for my growth. I recognize that I am not separate from the worthiness I seek, but the living embodiment of its potential.

In this present moment, I create a welcoming environment for my true self to thrive. My value is not measured by external validations, but by how authentically I remain true to my intrinsic wholeness, even amidst life's challenges.

I am learning to speak the language of my soul, embracing the quiet undercurrents of my being. By choosing to live a more authentic life, I honor the paths that lead to my truest self. I trust in the cyclical nature of growth, allowing elements of my life to bloom, fade, and renew without resistance.

With unwavering dedication, I move towards the future meant for me, remaining flexible and at ease with my natural flow. I stand fully present, offering companionship to my everyday experiences while staying loyal to my unique qualities.

I am the universe experiencing itself through my distinct perspective, deeply grateful for this opportunity to explore life through my perceptive body. In recognizing my true nature as boundless awareness, I embrace the freedom that comes from knowing I am interconnected with all that is and ever will be.

Key Takeaway

The affirmation "I Am Deserving of the Space I Occupy" conveys a powerful reminder that our worth is inherent and does not rely on external validation; we hold the right to exist fully and authentically in the world simply by being ourselves.

Essence: We are intrinsically worthy of taking up space and expressing ourselves, and the more we accept this, the more we align with our true potential.

Journalling Prompts

Reflective Question: “In which situations do I perceive the space I take up as inadequate or too much?”
Hint: Pay attention to the thoughts and physical sensations that arise in those moments. Are there any repeating patterns? What beliefs accompany these moments, and how do they feel in your body?
Perspective Change Question: “How would it feel to allow myself, in those situations, to fully occupy my space—without the need to shrink or adapt?”
Hint: Visualize being present in that space with your entire potential. How would it look to consciously decide to take up more room, both physically and emotionally, without the fear of being ‘too much’?

There is something powerfully transformative about claiming the space that is rightfully ours. Each time we choose to stand tall and take up room in the world without hesitation, we reinforce the belief that we deserve to be here in our fullness.

Where do we go from here? For me, expanding into my rightful space has meant confronting the parts of myself I long kept hidden or quiet. It means allowing myself to exist loudly and unapologetically. For you, it might look different. Maybe it’s reclaiming your voice in conversations where you usually remain silent. Or perhaps it’s stepping out physically, taking up space in environments that have historically made you feel small. Wherever you find yourself today, I encourage you to lean into the discomfort of expansion. Trust that the world needs you in your full expression.

My hope is that today’s intention and affirmation remind you that you are inherently deserving of every inch of space you occupy—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Keep expanding, keep reclaiming. Every time you do, you’re not just changing your world—you’re changing ours, too.

Warmly,

Jay 🌻

Additional Insights for Paid Subscribers

What does it truly mean to reclaim your space? In today’s deeper dive for paid subscribers, I explore practical exercises like body mapping and embodiment meditations to help you connect more fully with your inherent worthiness. Plus, you’ll get access to guided resources of Books, Podcasts and Videos, including a specially curated list of meditations from Tara Brach that support this journey of expansion and self-acceptance. Want to hear more about the subtle shifts that happen when we expand our presence—physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

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