Rooting Into Self: The Journey of Subscendence

Subtitle: In seeking to rise above, I found that going deeper was the true path | Today's intention and affirmation: Subscendence and "I Am the Exploration I Seek."

Monument Valley 1997 (Captured Analog and Digitized): The butte stands solitary yet grounded, much like my journey through subscendence—an invitation to explore the depths within, to descend not away from myself, but into the truth beneath the surface. The rainbow arching through the storm reminds me that even amidst the heaviest clouds, there is always light when I embrace the terrain of my inner landscape. I am not just the explorer; I am the exploration. Photo Credit: Jay Siegmann

Hello there, dearest Lionies,

I’ve always been the wanderer within my own landscape, constantly exploring the twists and turns of my canyon. Without fully realizing it, I had been seeking subscendence all along. Over the last four years, I’ve filled more than a million words across journals, reflecting, questioning, and searching. I dug into self-inquiries, examining the many layers of myself. Yet, despite my deep dives, there was a constant pull toward transcendence—to rise above, to change what felt unchangeable, and to escape what seemed inescapable.

This summer, something within me began to shift. Over the course of four weeks, starting at the end of July, I found myself no longer striving to transcend, but instead descending into my own inner landscape—exploring and integrating layers of trauma that had been waiting for acknowledgment. Then last Sunday, Liz Gilbert gave what I had been experiencing the perfect word: subscendence. Liz’s post didn’t create the shift, but it named something that had already begun to take root within me. Subscendence—going deeper, not higher—was the journey I had been on.

I’ve never stood at the edge of my canyon; I’ve been deep inside it for nearly 40 years. Mile after mile, I’ve wandered through it, trying to find a way out. I’ve climbed steep walls, fallen over boulders, and explored every nook and cranny with curiosity and openness, always believing there had to be some exit—a path that would lead me to a gentler, more soothing place beyond the rugged landscape I’d lived in for so long.

I searched for a way out of the canyon, a "paradise" where I wouldn’t feel the constant hardship, where challenges wouldn’t wait beyond every bend. Yet for four years now, I’ve explored my canyon deeply. I thought I was searching for transcendence, looking for a way out, not realizing that all along, I was subscending—going deeper into the very landscape I hoped to escape. I was trying to run from subscendence, thinking that transcending would free me. But it is through subscendence—embracing the depth—that I’ve found the path to healing.

Intention: Subscendence

Subscendence is the process of descending into the deeper, often hidden, layers of the self, moving inward toward a more authentic core by shedding external pretenses and egoic projections. In contrast to transcendence, which seeks elevation beyond, subscendence invites us to root down into our inner landscapes, exploring vulnerabilities and embracing imperfections as pathways to self-awareness.

In Buddhist texts, while there isn’t a specific term directly correlating with “subscendence,” the practice of self-inquiry and acknowledging one’s attachments and ego aligns with teachings on insight (Vipassana) and the understanding of Anatta (non-self). The intention behind these practices is not to rise above but to unearth and dissolve the illusions that cloud true awareness.

Inspirations on How to Achieve Subscendence

• Embrace Grounded Meditation Practices
  Subscendence requires you to explore what's beneath your everyday consciousness. Grounding meditations, such as focusing on the breath, body scan meditations, or walking mindfully, allow you to root into the present moment. With consistent practice, these meditations help reveal the subtle layers of your thoughts, emotions, and conditioned responses.

• Shadow Work
  Engaging in shadow work means acknowledging parts of yourself that you’ve rejected or hidden away. This exploration of the "shadow" helps uncover deeper truths about your desires, fears, and motivations. Journaling, therapy, or guided meditations can provide safe spaces for this inquiry, allowing you to integrate the disowned aspects of yourself with compassion.

• Practice Vulnerability in Safe Relationships
  Subscendence also happens through vulnerability. By allowing yourself to be seen in your most authentic form—without masks or defenses—you can deepen your connection with others and with your own truth. Safe, supportive relationships can mirror aspects of yourself that remain hidden, helping you to discover new layers of identity and purpose.

• Embrace Failures as Guides
  Failure often invites us to descend into our ego's constructs and learn humility. Instead of avoiding or fearing failure, you can use it as an opportunity to explore the expectations you've set for yourself. Each failure becomes a guide, pointing to areas of self-growth that are waiting to be unearthed and understood.

A Systemic Question for Self-Reflection

• What aspects of myself have I buried deep, either to fit external expectations or out of fear of vulnerability, and how can I begin to approach them with curiosity and compassion?

Affirmation: I Am the Exploration I Seek

I am the embodiment of the curiosity and discovery I yearn for. As I journey through my inner landscape, I recognize that I am not only the explorer but also the vast canyon I traverse. Each step reveals new layers of my being—hidden valleys of wisdom, winding paths of vulnerability, and cliffs that invite me to leap into the unknown. The exploration is both my gift and my responsibility.

I honor the twists and turns within, knowing that every bend in the canyon is a chance to uncover deeper truths about myself. I embrace the complexity of my inner world with tenderness, trusting that each hidden crevice holds the possibility of growth and transformation. As I navigate this sacred space, I allow curiosity to guide me, knowing that I am the one who witnesses the unfolding journey.

In this expansive exploration, I remain patient and present. The canyon is not to be conquered but to be understood. I explore its depths with reverence, knowing that I am both the terrain and the one who walks upon it. Each discovery is a piece of my wholeness, reminding me that what I seek is not beyond me but already part of who I am.

I stand in awe of this inner landscape, a space of infinite potential. I am both the seeker and the sought, the witness and the witnessed. The canyon of my being is vast, ever-changing, and full of wonder. In this sacred exploration, I come home to myself.

Key Takeaway of the Affirmation

The core insight of this affirmation is that I am both the explorer and the landscape I explore, embodying curiosity and growth as I uncover deeper layers of myself, knowing that the journey inward is where I find my true self.

I am not only the one seeking answers but also the terrain where those answers reside, a living exploration of my own wholeness.

Systemic Questions

Reflective Question

• What parts of your inner landscape have you previously overlooked, and how might they hold the key to your next step in self-discovery?
  Hint: Consider moments of discomfort or patterns that have repeated themselves—what might they be pointing to?

Pattern Identification Question

• What recurring themes or patterns arise when you explore the 'canyon' of your inner world, and how do they inform your understanding of yourself?
  Hint: Look at emotional responses, thought cycles, or repeated behaviors as signposts marking areas of growth or insight.

This journey into subscendence has opened up something profound within me. It’s a shift that’s not about escaping my past but about embracing it, integrating it, and finding my wholeness in the very places I once tried to rise above.

Subscendence isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a practice. It’s about the ongoing descent into the layers of my being, the continued exploration of what it means to be me, and the acceptance that I am not separate from the journey. I am both the canyon and the explorer, and in understanding this, I come to realize that what I seek has been within me all along.

How often do we try to transcend the struggles of life? What would happen if, instead of seeking to rise above, we chose to go deeper, into the very depths of ourselves?

With love and light,

Hashtags

#selfdiscovery #innerstrength #subscendence #healingjourney #personalgrowth #innerexploration #canyonofthemind #resilience #emotionalhealing #deepreflection

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