Phoenix of the Wilderness and Embered Contradictions

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Phoenix arising. Artwork by Jay Siegmann

Phoenix of the Wilderness

The fast, slow goodbye lingers,
a farewell steeped in embers,
a life once mine now burning.
The embers catch—a quiet fire,
a promise of catharsis, of renewal.

No lighthouse marks the horizon,
no tribe waits with open arms.
Just wilderness, vast and unyielding,
where monocultures once reigned,
their neat rows now ash underfoot.

I stand, naked in this ruin,
the dungeon walls crumbled,
the chains dissolved by flames.
No old beliefs to weigh me down,
no certainty to shroud my path.

I search for connection, not refuge,
for the jagged edges of my tribe,
those who see the beauty in difference,
who light their own way in the dark.

This wilderness is daunting,
but it is also freeing.
Each step forward burns away fear,
each breath rekindles the fire within.

Perhaps this is the only way,
to rise not from ashes but through them,
to let the fire carve the outlines
of the true self I’ve long sought.

I feel so seen, so connected,
not by what I’ve lost,
but by what I’m uncovering.
A phoenix, yes, but not reborn—
revealed.

No horizons yet, only the vast unknown.
And yet, here I am,
walking, breathing,
turning embers into light.

My Canyon Folk Version

Embered Contradictions

The fast, slow goodbye unfurls,
a day where grief and hope collide.
A life once mine burns, embers catching,
flames both searing and illuminating,
a paradox of endings and beginnings.

Isolation’s chill grips tightly,
yet I feel so seen, so connected.
Comfort finds me where I offered only desperation,
kindness wrapping around my jagged edges.
The wilderness is vast, yet within it, voices echo.

I shared myself today—raw and unhidden,
not for answers, but for light.
In return, the light found me:
words that comforted, poems that mirrored,
a tribe forming where none existed before.

No lighthouse pierces the horizon,
but smoke swirls around me,
parting just enough for glimpses—
shadows of what’s been, shapes of what’s to come.
This, too, is the “Full Catastrophe of Living.”

Suffering and solace walk hand in hand.
Isolation births connection; despair gives rise to hope.
The dungeon falls, its walls dissolving in ash,
and I step forward, trembling, yet steady.
The wilderness consumes, but it also reveals.

No phoenix rises clean from this fire.
I emerge scorched, scarred, and alive,
turning the embers of old beliefs
into the light of a truer self.
Here lies grief, hope, suffering, connection—
a paradox I cannot resolve, only live.

Today, I am both ash and flame,
both darkness and light.
I see more clearly now,
not through the absence of smoke,
but by learning to look within it.

Thank you. Today has been a day of profound contradictions—grief and hope, despair and connection, isolation and belonging—all swirling together like smoke around embers. Your kind words, your presence, and the space you’ve held for me have been a light in the wilderness I’m navigating.

Sharing my thoughts, receiving your responses, and reading your reflections have brought me clarity, strength, and the hope I didn’t think I could find today.

These poems are my way of honoring this shared moment—a testament to the power of connection, even in the midst of chaos.