YES to all of this!! Letting go of all the old rules and making our own! That’s what Substack feels like sometimes. No gatekeepers, no one to tell us “do this, not that”. We get direct access and connection to our people.
That’s what success is, finding our people and using our creativity to create a life of our own.
Thank you for this piece, Jay!! I love and appreciate you so much!! Xoxo
Mesa, yes — letting go of the old rules, making our own, finding our people. And yet the deeper reminder is this: it’s available to us on the inside, in every moment of awareness. That’s the ground we return to again and again. Grateful to walk this with you. 💛
P.S. actually it was my Alexander-Technique Coach who told me just how much celeb Liz is. I am totally oblivious to 98% of those dubbed celebrities. You could be one, for all I know. It does not change my relationship with you. You are you. Liz is Liz. You are both unique human beings. And while I find myself echoed in Liz writing, it is you who pushed my boundaries and comfort zone, let’s me meet myself in new ground.
Gloria, Dear, I am quite sure she might have spoken about it before, just not to me personally. I am not the “devotee” you believe I am. I am a fan of the Letter From Love Community, yes. That does not make me her devotee. If I have to be honest I am more “devotee” to you, than Liz Gilbert. I have finish Big Magic, which was really great, I still after 5 month work my way truth Bali. Yes, I feel a kinship to Liz yet my kinship to you is much more aligned. As said, I wasn’t even aware of her notoriety when I subscribed to her Letters from Love. It was and still is the exercise of writing a weekly Letter from Love to myself and share this letter with a Wonder community and engage with them in meaningful ways that brought and kept me there. Names are as much smokes and mirrors as these lists Substack is curating. They mean Zero. Liz in my point of view aligns with several view I share. Not all. Yet our biographies are different. I like much of whom she is promoting. That’s about it. I am not doing the LOL thing because of Liz and her name, I no am doing it for me and her community, of whom I have become a May I say respected appreciated member.
Gloria, I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart. You insisting on this brought me most likely to a different level of understanding. I so appreciate you and I am so glad to call you a dear friend. Thank you.
Jay, are you reading Gilbert’s Substack? I stumbled on her page this morning, and honestly—how refreshing is this? She isn’t wringing her hands over reviews or peeking through her fingers at Goodreads. She just came right out and said:
“But people keep asking me if I’m worried about how the book will be received. I’m not, and here’s why — because I won’t be looking to see how the book is received. I sent a message to my publishers and to a lot of my friends last week, letting everyone know that I won’t be reading any of the reviews or commentary about All the Way to the River (not even the positive and supportive reviews, should they exist!) because I love myself too much to do that. John Updike said that reading a review of his books was like ‘eating a sandwich that might have some broken glass in it.’”
Empowering? Try revolutionary. A woman declaring she loves herself too much to let other people’s judgments shred her confidence. Imagine if more of us followed that rule—we’d all be a little freer, a little braver, and possibly a lot less cranky.
And here’s the truth: most certainly, I am defined by my personal experiences. For years I let anger fuel my life; it was the only gas in the tank. Do I still resort to anger when I’m frustrated, cornered, helpless? Of course. I’m not Gandhi. I’m not the Dalai Lama. But here’s the kicker: I get to be me—and sometimes anger gets things done while serenity just gets you incense.
As for me now, I like to think I live by faith, not fear. Which is to say: I’ll take my sandwiches without the broken glass, thank you very much—preferably toasted, with extra mustard.
Darling, of course have I read it. 5pm sharp, almost every Sunday (3 times a bit later) is LOL time. I am a beloved part of her Lovelet Community for a continuous 56 weeks now. Not one missed Sunday. I love my S.O.U.L Sisters of Unconditional Love. And yes, Liz can be very refreshing and empowering. I love you even more for you anger. When I am even the slightest bit aggravated people around me immediately literally jump up, telling me to lower my volume, to tone it down, to not rile myself up so much, to basically please disappear. And as I know this for such a long time I no am still trying to get to letting my anger become the volcano 🌋 I sometimes feel still building up inside me. So you are quite the role model again for me on that front. I have been fed enough broken glass for the rest of my life and I live to tell. You survive that as well. Yet I’d rather follow your example, eating my belegtes Brot without any harmful substances in it. And I agree if more would be like Liz, Glennon and Gloria the world would be a much better place. Love you 😍
I am very confused. If she isn’t bothered by the haters and the naysayers then why did you give breath to them in a post? Respectfully, if you are a devotee, why have you not absorbed her power from her words of wisdom?
I didn’t know her reaction to it. I haven’t read any of her books before I think November last year. And her own letters from love usually have one singular theme that is brought on by the guest she invites. I am in the community mainly because of the community, the connection with people. And frankly, my post took that only as a hook to point somewhere else. This was kind of simmering in me since the Glennon Doyle backslash and when Trump called the Survivors a hoax, I thought well, might as well look for common ground, with this happening so frequently. This now being my singular most successful written post means that I probably tapped into something there.
Yep, you put your finger right into that wound. Misery is much more fun in shared company. And I have still let you rattle me through and engaged with your challenge and question. It lead me to insight I will likely will be grateful for the rest of my life. So namaste 🙏 Gloria. In the end that post for me did what it needed to do and helped me with 5 new paid subscribers too. Who am I to complain, I was on the receiving end of both sides, thanks to your engagement.
Love you, Jay! Your exuberance and ability to admit “focusing on the wrong thing” and the way you bring us all with you to self-examine our own missed takes (mistakes). Beautiful!
Excellent essay, Jay, I admire your ability to perceive that you were ‘arguing the wrong point,’ but I totally agree with you on how we need to resist numbers defining success & all those other external markers of success/worth that society & capitalism worship & which seeps into all of us as the water we swim in. You are showing that resistance here and it’s inspiring. May raw, messy stories continue to triumph—with those of us resisting the old ways of defining what’s acceptable, those stories will always be the best, truest, most ‘successful’ ones. This really spoke to me: ‘It's about learning to live without apology, messy and whole. It’s about practicing the stance: it stays, I stay, as I am. “
Excellent post, Jay. "The victory isn’t in trophies or tours. It has everything to do with living by your own rules, no apologies, until the culture has no choice but to notice."
Prajna, yes, the decision is our’s to make. Just a Liz decision not to engang with or even read any of the critique. That it the point, we decide and we do not need to justify it.
Jump!.... wow, this was so well written, so well articilated, so well felt. Be true to us, be true to our truth... numbers are for egos not wins....love it.
I love the way you think, Jay, especially about terms like success. The way you write about art and creative work reminds me so much of the book The Gift by Lewis Hyde. He explores deeply the transactional impulse to define art (ours or other people's) by the worldly or consumerist definition of success. Yet art supersedes all of that. It must be a generous and generative act, according to him. And yet...
To remember that this kind of commercial success is, indeed, a 'win', as you say, reminds me that both can be true. We can hold all sorts of realities and tensions and celebrate the victories every day.
Love this piece. So beautifully written. Your questions at the end have me thinking about my own truths and not living someone else’s. It takes so much courage and artists like Liz do it so bravely. Your words here explain it so clearly. Thank you 💜
YES to all of this!! Letting go of all the old rules and making our own! That’s what Substack feels like sometimes. No gatekeepers, no one to tell us “do this, not that”. We get direct access and connection to our people.
That’s what success is, finding our people and using our creativity to create a life of our own.
Thank you for this piece, Jay!! I love and appreciate you so much!! Xoxo
Mesa, yes — letting go of the old rules, making our own, finding our people. And yet the deeper reminder is this: it’s available to us on the inside, in every moment of awareness. That’s the ground we return to again and again. Grateful to walk this with you. 💛
I love every word of this. So much truth. Thank you for writing and sharing this
Anne, thank you. I feel the resonance in your words. It means a lot to know this truth landed with you. 💛 xo Jay
A see a new you emerging and I like this courageous Jay. ❤️
So well written!
And in case you are curious Liz shares Chapter Two of her book here https://open.substack.com/pub/theisolationjournals/p/how-to-retire-for-a-week-without?r=1sss7q&utm_medium=ios
I read the post first.
And the first chapter she reads here: https://open.substack.com/pub/elizabethgilbert/p/a-look-inside-my-new-book?r=1sss7q&utm_medium=ios
I’m curious. Did you read her Substack before and after you wrote your first post about her book?
That post with the quote you are referencing published today at 11am Eastern. So both have been written well before her telling this.
So. This is the very first time she has ever spoken about book reviews? Groundbreaking!
You are correct. I am mistaken about the timing. A feather in your cap! 🪶
P.S. actually it was my Alexander-Technique Coach who told me just how much celeb Liz is. I am totally oblivious to 98% of those dubbed celebrities. You could be one, for all I know. It does not change my relationship with you. You are you. Liz is Liz. You are both unique human beings. And while I find myself echoed in Liz writing, it is you who pushed my boundaries and comfort zone, let’s me meet myself in new ground.
Gloria, Dear, I am quite sure she might have spoken about it before, just not to me personally. I am not the “devotee” you believe I am. I am a fan of the Letter From Love Community, yes. That does not make me her devotee. If I have to be honest I am more “devotee” to you, than Liz Gilbert. I have finish Big Magic, which was really great, I still after 5 month work my way truth Bali. Yes, I feel a kinship to Liz yet my kinship to you is much more aligned. As said, I wasn’t even aware of her notoriety when I subscribed to her Letters from Love. It was and still is the exercise of writing a weekly Letter from Love to myself and share this letter with a Wonder community and engage with them in meaningful ways that brought and kept me there. Names are as much smokes and mirrors as these lists Substack is curating. They mean Zero. Liz in my point of view aligns with several view I share. Not all. Yet our biographies are different. I like much of whom she is promoting. That’s about it. I am not doing the LOL thing because of Liz and her name, I no am doing it for me and her community, of whom I have become a May I say respected appreciated member.
Gloria, I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart. You insisting on this brought me most likely to a different level of understanding. I so appreciate you and I am so glad to call you a dear friend. Thank you.
Jay, are you reading Gilbert’s Substack? I stumbled on her page this morning, and honestly—how refreshing is this? She isn’t wringing her hands over reviews or peeking through her fingers at Goodreads. She just came right out and said:
“But people keep asking me if I’m worried about how the book will be received. I’m not, and here’s why — because I won’t be looking to see how the book is received. I sent a message to my publishers and to a lot of my friends last week, letting everyone know that I won’t be reading any of the reviews or commentary about All the Way to the River (not even the positive and supportive reviews, should they exist!) because I love myself too much to do that. John Updike said that reading a review of his books was like ‘eating a sandwich that might have some broken glass in it.’”
Empowering? Try revolutionary. A woman declaring she loves herself too much to let other people’s judgments shred her confidence. Imagine if more of us followed that rule—we’d all be a little freer, a little braver, and possibly a lot less cranky.
And here’s the truth: most certainly, I am defined by my personal experiences. For years I let anger fuel my life; it was the only gas in the tank. Do I still resort to anger when I’m frustrated, cornered, helpless? Of course. I’m not Gandhi. I’m not the Dalai Lama. But here’s the kicker: I get to be me—and sometimes anger gets things done while serenity just gets you incense.
As for me now, I like to think I live by faith, not fear. Which is to say: I’ll take my sandwiches without the broken glass, thank you very much—preferably toasted, with extra mustard.
Darling, of course have I read it. 5pm sharp, almost every Sunday (3 times a bit later) is LOL time. I am a beloved part of her Lovelet Community for a continuous 56 weeks now. Not one missed Sunday. I love my S.O.U.L Sisters of Unconditional Love. And yes, Liz can be very refreshing and empowering. I love you even more for you anger. When I am even the slightest bit aggravated people around me immediately literally jump up, telling me to lower my volume, to tone it down, to not rile myself up so much, to basically please disappear. And as I know this for such a long time I no am still trying to get to letting my anger become the volcano 🌋 I sometimes feel still building up inside me. So you are quite the role model again for me on that front. I have been fed enough broken glass for the rest of my life and I live to tell. You survive that as well. Yet I’d rather follow your example, eating my belegtes Brot without any harmful substances in it. And I agree if more would be like Liz, Glennon and Gloria the world would be a much better place. Love you 😍
I am very confused. If she isn’t bothered by the haters and the naysayers then why did you give breath to them in a post? Respectfully, if you are a devotee, why have you not absorbed her power from her words of wisdom?
I didn’t know her reaction to it. I haven’t read any of her books before I think November last year. And her own letters from love usually have one singular theme that is brought on by the guest she invites. I am in the community mainly because of the community, the connection with people. And frankly, my post took that only as a hook to point somewhere else. This was kind of simmering in me since the Glennon Doyle backslash and when Trump called the Survivors a hoax, I thought well, might as well look for common ground, with this happening so frequently. This now being my singular most successful written post means that I probably tapped into something there.
Yes. You are exactly correct. Misery loves company. Glad you checked your engagement to confirm.
Yep, you put your finger right into that wound. Misery is much more fun in shared company. And I have still let you rattle me through and engaged with your challenge and question. It lead me to insight I will likely will be grateful for the rest of my life. So namaste 🙏 Gloria. In the end that post for me did what it needed to do and helped me with 5 new paid subscribers too. Who am I to complain, I was on the receiving end of both sides, thanks to your engagement.
You are welcome. 🙏
Fantastic, this really resonates with me. Thank you, Jay🙏🏽
Katja, thank you for sharing your sentiment. I am grateful, my story resonated with you.
My Letter From Love today was along these lines. We are in sync 😘
Love you, Jay! Your exuberance and ability to admit “focusing on the wrong thing” and the way you bring us all with you to self-examine our own missed takes (mistakes). Beautiful!
Excellent essay, Jay, I admire your ability to perceive that you were ‘arguing the wrong point,’ but I totally agree with you on how we need to resist numbers defining success & all those other external markers of success/worth that society & capitalism worship & which seeps into all of us as the water we swim in. You are showing that resistance here and it’s inspiring. May raw, messy stories continue to triumph—with those of us resisting the old ways of defining what’s acceptable, those stories will always be the best, truest, most ‘successful’ ones. This really spoke to me: ‘It's about learning to live without apology, messy and whole. It’s about practicing the stance: it stays, I stay, as I am. “
Excellent post, Jay. "The victory isn’t in trophies or tours. It has everything to do with living by your own rules, no apologies, until the culture has no choice but to notice."
Yes. We rise, we stay, we don't wait.
Love to all of this, together.
Prajna, yes, the decision is our’s to make. Just a Liz decision not to engang with or even read any of the critique. That it the point, we decide and we do not need to justify it.
Love reading about your process here of grappling with this and coming out on the other side for yourself. Gorgeous photo of the barge. I love fog!
Jump!.... wow, this was so well written, so well articilated, so well felt. Be true to us, be true to our truth... numbers are for egos not wins....love it.
I love the way you think, Jay, especially about terms like success. The way you write about art and creative work reminds me so much of the book The Gift by Lewis Hyde. He explores deeply the transactional impulse to define art (ours or other people's) by the worldly or consumerist definition of success. Yet art supersedes all of that. It must be a generous and generative act, according to him. And yet...
To remember that this kind of commercial success is, indeed, a 'win', as you say, reminds me that both can be true. We can hold all sorts of realities and tensions and celebrate the victories every day.
Love this piece. So beautifully written. Your questions at the end have me thinking about my own truths and not living someone else’s. It takes so much courage and artists like Liz do it so bravely. Your words here explain it so clearly. Thank you 💜